Defending myself

Very often I run into someone, friend or family, random teammate on a softball team and I am asked the following question, "What do you do all day?" The question is posed in a tone I particularly detest. A condecending tone that makes me feel like I need to defend my position as a stay at home mother, though I rarely stay at home, of a 21 month old on the verge of the terrbible two's. On top of that, I have a 5 month old lab mix puppy. What's the mix you ask? We are thinking now she is part boxer. I will explain this position in a few lines.

I am a full time mother running on overtime. So what does that mean exactly? Well it is isn't rocket science nor am I laying on the couch all day tossing bon bons into my mouth while I flick through the channels and TiVo my soaps. Being a full time mother is an extraordinary responsibility as with any job dealing with and interacting with a child. They are little sponges absorbing the ways of the world and if that view is slightly scewed, that child will grow up slightly scewed or worse! They are very impressionable and tremendously insightful. They do not like to sit around, they are busy exploring, putting things in their mouths, grabbing things off of low shelves, and quite often, enjoy sampling the culinary delights of Purina.

In the following timeline I will try to accurately represent what constitutes a typical day for this stay at home mother...

1:45 a.m. Puppy is running around the bedroom, she needs to go out immediately.
2:00 a.m. Back inside, settled into bed, puppy is barking and panting. Who's f-ing idea was it to get a puppy? Christ. Of course it was mine, complete genious.
2:25 a.m. Back inside again, still no elimination, put puppy in kennel where she should have been in the first place.
2:25-3:45 a.m. Yelping, whining, barking, scratching, yelping again, chewing... Ahh, she settling down.
3:55 a.m. Lily crying at her door. She climbs out of crib now and waits for us at the door. Better get her quick before she locks herself in again...
4:05 a.m. Puppy and daughter are now both in bed with us. Puppy is snoring. Definitely boxer.
5:30 a.m. Husband's alarm goes off repeatedly. He hears nothing. For the entire night, he has heard nothing.
5:31-5:55 a.m. Nudging husband to get out of bed so he will not be late for work but doing so carefully trying not to wake either puppy or daughter.
6:10 a.m. The door slams behind hubby in his rush to get to work and puppy wakes up. She has to go outside.
6:20 a.m. Eureka! Elimination! Come inside, fill up food and water bowls, try to climb back into bed for 10 more minutes.
6:30 a.m. Lily wakes me up by kissing me. Was I sleeping? So cute! "Mommy? Mommy? Elmo?"
6:40-7:30 ish a.m. Diaper change, fill up Lily's juice/water combo, turn on cartoons, fix breakfast. This week, Kix. "Yummy cereal mommy!" Do dishes from the night or entire day before.
7:15 a.m. Gevalia begins to brew. This week, French Vanilla. Devine.
It's hazy between 7:15-8:30 a.m. Drink my coffee, pick up cereal off the ground, maybe let puppy out another time or clean up pee in the bedroom, start a load of laundry, sometimes take my shower...
8:30 a.m. Simply Quilts, HGTV! More inspiration on another quilt project that I will never have time to accomplish.
9:00-9:30 a.m. Bath for Lily, shower for me or shower for both Lily and I.
9:30-9:40 a.m. Chase Lily around trying to get a diaper on her before she pees on the rug, clean up daughter's pee, get her dressed.
9:45-10:00 a.m. Find something for me to wear. In the process, clean up bedroom, make bed, throw laundry in the dryer, clean up hubby's clothes from the day and night before. Check email? Lily is following me around and we count everything. 1..2..3..4..5.. uno...dos...tres.. 10:30 a.m. Ahh, we are ready to start the day!

The next hour to hour and a half changes daily. It can consist of rushing to the store, dog park, play date, post office, bank run etc.

11:30-12:00 p.m. Lunch time. Today, hotdogs, broccoli and whole wheat spirals. Fill up water and food bowls for Nika.
12:30 p.m.-3:30 p.m. Put Lily down for a nap, try to get her to stay there. Start the dishes, maybe brew another 4 cups of coffee, start another load of laundry, start folding previous load, hear Lily crying at her door, fill her juice, change her diaper, put her in her crib again b/c she is obviously still tired, I might get in about 30 minutes of cutting fabric and stitching... Come into bedroom and find folded clothes unfolded and dishelved on the floor. Look on the bed, puppy is spread out and snoring. Scoop up the clothes and throw them in the nearest laundry basket. Still trying to clean up the kitchen from lunch. I'm starting to question myself as my husband does... Why do I use so many gd dishes!? Steam basket, strainer, 3 pots, broccoli, hotdogs, pasta, 2 bowls, 6 folks (2 for lunch, 4 for prep?) numerous spoons, knives, cutting board, glasses, sippy cups... It's never ending. Puppy needs to go outside.

By 3:30 p.m. Lily is through with napping and it's snack time. This consists of crackers, cheese, apples, raisons, bananas... Might turn on cartoons to finish a square on my quilt, or it's color time. Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Purple! Gymnastic time! Steam roller, summer-saults, chase Nika.
4:00-4:30 p.m. Run around the house trying to straighten up before hubby gets home so it doesn't look too bad and it looks like I did something all day.
4:30 p.m. Hubby returns from work! Yay! I get a break. Puppy needs a quick walk, Lily needs her diaper changed and sippy cup filled, hubby has disappeared! Phenomenal.
5:00 p.m. "What's for dinner?" Hubby, daughter and puppy corner me in the kitchen.
6:00 p.m. Dinner is served. It takes me 30-35 minutes to decide, 25-30 minutes to prepare. Hubby clears table, scoops up dishes and drops them in the sink while I grab Lily and depending upon her condition, drop her in the tub or just change her diaper.
6:30-8:00 p.m. Changes daily, rush off to the store, rush up to Alexandria to see neice and nephew, maybe go to the library, family walk, or rush off to a softball game if it's Monday or Wednesday night.
8:00-8:30 p.m. Lily's bedtime depending on when we get home, how cooperative is her disposition?
9:00 p.m. Quilts, emails, dinner dishes? Na, save them for tomorrow. I've got all day don't I?
9:45-10:00 p.m. Return from softball Monday and Wednesday nights.
10:00 p.m. Project Runway Wednesday nights.
10:30-11:00 p.m. BED! Ah, so nice and comfortable pillow top, Sealy Posturepedic Queen, so soft and wonderful... Puppy jumps up, try to get her to lay down for the next 15 minutes. Ahh, she's settled... Starts chewing and knawing on her rawhide bone. 10 minutes later, she's in her kennel. Barking, yelping, whining... 10 minutes later silence. Glorious silence. Hubby starts breathing heavy. He's asleep. Wow, how can he fall asleep so fast? Why can't I fall asleep? I'm tired, why can't I fall asleep? Say some Hail Mary's, Our Father's. That should make me tired. That will help me fall asleep, right? Try to remember the Rosary. Where are my Rosary beads? Are they under my pillow? No, they are still packed. We moved almost a month ago. Which box? Aren't all the boxes unpacked? Why can't I sleep?
12:30 a.m. Puppy is awake again, clawing at the door of her kennel, she needs to go out. Maybe hubby will wake up and let her out. He did the other night. He doesn't flinch tonight. Get out of bed so puppy doesn't wake up daughter.
12:45-1:00 a.m. Walking the puppy, this week it has been either cold or raining, get back inside, let puppy jump in bed. Immediately fall asleep.
1:45 a.m. Wake up to puppy running around and jumping up on the bed biting my hand to wake me up. Was I dreaming that I let her out earlier? And it continues like this day after day... Fun eh?

What do you do all day?!!